I loved my long hair, I loved my messy pony tail, I loved at night when Millie would run her hands through my hair and tell me, "pretty hairs Mommy!", I loved when Michael would comb my hair when I was having a bad day.
In December when I wasn't feeling so well I decided that if I got a hair cut I would suddenly have energy and feel "spunky" again! So, I did it, I cut off 10 inches and felt terrific for a day or so! Why did I give my hair so much credit?
We do that though. When we're not having a good day, it's a bad hair day. When we wake up grumpy, there's bed hair to blame it on, what is it with our hair?
I knew it would be hard when the hair started coming out, what I didn't realize was that it was hard for everyone else in the family too. Loni was insistent that she didn't want a bald mom!
So, we decided to make a party of it to help it not be so scary. I invited my good friend and hairdresser over, Sharice and the party began. We tried all those "awesome" hair-dos that I'm sure if I were a teenage boy I would have dreamed of having. Steps, mohawk, mullet, shaved Clark's name in the side and even shaved it all except the bangs.... We laughed until we cried.
You know, it isn't so bad, and honestly it's not really all gone. I looked at a poster hanging by Ike's bed the other night and realized that my hair looks a lot like a Minion head!
The night I shaved my head, because it was coming out in handfuls, Clark sang me this country song by Randy Travis.....
They say that time takes it's toll on a body
Makes the young girls brown hair turn grey
But honey, I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair
And if it all fell out, well, I'd love you anyway
What a sweetheart, that's what I needed to hear.
Reasons I love being bald:
1. My Dad said that I can let a shampoo bottle last for years! Only problem is getting sick of the same scent! Think of all the money saved on hair products!
2. I have to be somewhere in 10 minutes, no problem, I still have time for a shower! No more waiting for hair to dry.
3. Millie quickly learned to say, "pretty hat, pretty scarf, pretty eyes, pretty smile Mommy" I love that.
4. I asked Michael what he thought of his Mom being bald, he put his hand on my forehead and the other on my chin and said, "It does not matter Mom because between here and here you are still beautiful!" I love that!
5. A no hair day is better than a bad hair day!
6. Save all sorts of time getting ready, just throw on a hat
7. Love wearing a hat to church
We're all getting used to it, Loni even said the other day she didn't care if I wasn't wearing a hat all the time, as long as I wore it outside the house at all times! That's improvement, I'll take it.
It will grow back, it's just hair. In the meantime I'll enjoy the benefits of a life of ease without hair, and time and money saved. I've learned to love myself for what is inside rather than out. My children are learning to see differences in a new light that they would not have seen otherwise. That is a beautiful lesson.
I'm still Lisa, hair or no hair, it's still me. Feeling grateful I still have my lashes and eyebrows, that might have been a different story!
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Saturday, May 17, 2014
Half Way!/Angels
I believe in angels
The kind that heaven sends
I'm surrounded by angels
But I call them my best friends.
Unknown
This past Thursday I received my 6th out of 12 treatments. Excited to have made it this far. The past months have flown by and as I reflect on that, it's because we have been surrounded by the most amazing supporters; family, friends, neighbors... A burden as truly been lifted through all those willing to reach out and be "His" hands. Thank you!
Sidewalk art by the Beehives in our ward!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Rainy Day
Don't feel much like having cancer today! Just not in the mood! If only it were that easy.
I woke up to the sound of rain and it reminded me of the "rain, rain, go away...." song we all know. I sang to myself, "Cancer, cancer, go away, Lisa doesn't want to play. Cancer, cancer, go away, my kiddos need their mom today!"
So I rolled out of bed and began my day. Kids off to school, walked on the treadmill, made necklaces and drawings with Millie. Read books and rocked her to sleep. Had Ike sit on my lap and look at his beautiful Mother's Day creations. Watched Loni perform a play. I pulled weeds, talked with friends and warmed up dinner. An awesome day!
I refuse to let cancer tell me how to live my life. It can't dictate who I am or how I feel. I'm still a Mom, I'm still a wife and I can still be happy. Sorry cancer!
Found this cute poem by Dr. Seuss:
I am ready to fight, cancer will have troubles with me! My beautiful kids and my charming husband are what I am fighting for. I don't want to miss it!
A great rainy day with the kids!
I woke up to the sound of rain and it reminded me of the "rain, rain, go away...." song we all know. I sang to myself, "Cancer, cancer, go away, Lisa doesn't want to play. Cancer, cancer, go away, my kiddos need their mom today!"
So I rolled out of bed and began my day. Kids off to school, walked on the treadmill, made necklaces and drawings with Millie. Read books and rocked her to sleep. Had Ike sit on my lap and look at his beautiful Mother's Day creations. Watched Loni perform a play. I pulled weeds, talked with friends and warmed up dinner. An awesome day!
I refuse to let cancer tell me how to live my life. It can't dictate who I am or how I feel. I'm still a Mom, I'm still a wife and I can still be happy. Sorry cancer!
Found this cute poem by Dr. Seuss:
I have heard there are troubles
of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and
some come from behind.
But I've brought a big bat.
I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going
to have troubles with me!
I am ready to fight, cancer will have troubles with me! My beautiful kids and my charming husband are what I am fighting for. I don't want to miss it!
A great rainy day with the kids!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Prognosis
Philippians 4:13 I can do ALL things through CHRIST which STRENGTHENTH me.
My first visit with the doctor about my diagnosis said this to me, "If you had to choose a cancer, this is the one you would choose." There is an 80-90% chance of beating this even with my stage 3B diagnosis!
After one round of chemo treatment my tumors and shrunk 80%. After 4 treatments, the doctor could no longer feel any tumors! This miracle medicine is working! We are so grateful.
I look around the two treatment rooms full of individuals who are also receiving treatments, 15 people or so, and I am full of gratitude for the miracle of modern medicine. Look at all these people getting help and receiving hope! While chemo does leave me tired, achy and sick for a few days,
I LOVE CHEMO! It's fighting a great and aggressive fight for me!!
Alma 9:17 ...the Lord will be merciful unto all who call on his name.
My first visit with the doctor about my diagnosis said this to me, "If you had to choose a cancer, this is the one you would choose." There is an 80-90% chance of beating this even with my stage 3B diagnosis!
After one round of chemo treatment my tumors and shrunk 80%. After 4 treatments, the doctor could no longer feel any tumors! This miracle medicine is working! We are so grateful.
I look around the two treatment rooms full of individuals who are also receiving treatments, 15 people or so, and I am full of gratitude for the miracle of modern medicine. Look at all these people getting help and receiving hope! While chemo does leave me tired, achy and sick for a few days,
I LOVE CHEMO! It's fighting a great and aggressive fight for me!!
Alma 9:17 ...the Lord will be merciful unto all who call on his name.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Timeline
As I look back at the last several years, I can identify many symptoms. It's amazing how your body adjusts and gets accustomed changes. I can remember before we had Millie, our youngest who is now 2, some signs of this disease now that I reflect on it all.
June 2013 is when I really started noticing changes that needed attention. While I was pregnant with Millie I started taking medication for my thyroid and I assumed that what I was experiencing was due to that. So, all summer we were changing doses. I was giving that little thyroid way too much credit!! In December when my levels were at normal and I still didn't feel well I realized that something more was going on.
My biggest complaint was extreme fatigue. People would say, "well, you have 4 energetic children and a busy husband!" Yes I do, and yes their energy is exhausting. However I think most Mom's can get off the couch and accomplish something during the day, I couldn't. I would sit down at 11 to help Ike with his homework and I honestly struggled to get up before Clark got home from work at 5! If I accomplished one task during the day I felt pretty good about myself. This was so unlike me. I love to check things off lists, spend time with my kids and exercise!
I remember Clark and I attended the Beautiful Brigham City Temple in December. I prayed while there that I would be able to realize if my symptoms were severe enough that I needed to see the doctor. I didn't want to show up and have him just tell me that I was tired because I had 4 kids, that I was lazy or depressed.
In December because the weather turned cold I started to do my jogs on the treadmill. One morning I was seriously struggling. I could not even go one min. without having to turn off the machine and take a long breather! I was hurting! I am not a runner by any means, but I had been jogging 3 miles almost every day till now so this was not just a case of being out of shape. Within a week other symptoms surfaced and I was convinced that I needed to see the doctor.
I started charting my heart rate which at resting was consistently 120bpm! This was alarming to me most of all.
Nightly I would fever and have an ear ache.
Night Sweats
Persistant Cough
Unexplainable weight loss
Light headed and dizzy, out of breath frequently
Before I even arrived home from my first appointment the doctor called with results from a blood test. While in his office we explored the idea of a heart condition, however the blood work showed severe Anemia. I don't know what all these numbers mean, but my numbers were at a 26 and were supposed to be around 45!
We did a month of iron treatments and B12 vitamins to find the next month my levels had dropped to 25! How could that be when I was taking iron supplements? This is when the exploration began.
Treatment day is actually very fun! I get to go hang out with people I love for a few hours. We eat good food, visit, play games, watch movies. It's great! Too bad it takes a cancer diagnosis to get me to spend this kind of time with family and friends!!
I usually leave feeling light headed, have a head ache and my face burns! Grateful for a ride home!
It has been amazing to me how supportive our ward, friends, family and strangers have been. I had no idea how many people cared! It has been so good for our kids to see the many ways that people can serve. It's because of these people who come to help me clean, come to watch my kids, cook for us, carpool, etc...that I am able to take the time I need to recover between treatments. So grateful to my Heavenly Father for the goodness of His children.
June 2013 is when I really started noticing changes that needed attention. While I was pregnant with Millie I started taking medication for my thyroid and I assumed that what I was experiencing was due to that. So, all summer we were changing doses. I was giving that little thyroid way too much credit!! In December when my levels were at normal and I still didn't feel well I realized that something more was going on.
My biggest complaint was extreme fatigue. People would say, "well, you have 4 energetic children and a busy husband!" Yes I do, and yes their energy is exhausting. However I think most Mom's can get off the couch and accomplish something during the day, I couldn't. I would sit down at 11 to help Ike with his homework and I honestly struggled to get up before Clark got home from work at 5! If I accomplished one task during the day I felt pretty good about myself. This was so unlike me. I love to check things off lists, spend time with my kids and exercise!
I remember Clark and I attended the Beautiful Brigham City Temple in December. I prayed while there that I would be able to realize if my symptoms were severe enough that I needed to see the doctor. I didn't want to show up and have him just tell me that I was tired because I had 4 kids, that I was lazy or depressed.
In December because the weather turned cold I started to do my jogs on the treadmill. One morning I was seriously struggling. I could not even go one min. without having to turn off the machine and take a long breather! I was hurting! I am not a runner by any means, but I had been jogging 3 miles almost every day till now so this was not just a case of being out of shape. Within a week other symptoms surfaced and I was convinced that I needed to see the doctor.
I started charting my heart rate which at resting was consistently 120bpm! This was alarming to me most of all.
Nightly I would fever and have an ear ache.
Night Sweats
Persistant Cough
Unexplainable weight loss
Light headed and dizzy, out of breath frequently
Before I even arrived home from my first appointment the doctor called with results from a blood test. While in his office we explored the idea of a heart condition, however the blood work showed severe Anemia. I don't know what all these numbers mean, but my numbers were at a 26 and were supposed to be around 45!
We did a month of iron treatments and B12 vitamins to find the next month my levels had dropped to 25! How could that be when I was taking iron supplements? This is when the exploration began.
We decided to do a blood transfusion. So grateful for people able and willing to donate their blood! This was followed by other tests, ultrasounds, biopsy's, etc. Each test, each doctors visit came back inconclusive. How could I be loosing so much blood and have no idea where? One doctor we visited made a suggestion of seeing a blood specialist. It just all sounded too strange. This is when Clark and I started considering that this could be cancer.
February 14, Valentines Day
I woke up early, made heart shaped waffle toast for the family, got everyone out the door for school and work and decided to hit the shower. That is where I discovered a huge lump on my neck. Never noticed it before, didn't hurt. I immediately called my sister, who is a Pharmacist. She told me to put heat on it and see if it would go down. I did that all weekend, to no avail. Again, giving that thyroid way too much credit, I figured it had something to do with that.
February 17, Presidents Day
Visited my doctor who thankfully didn't dismiss it as an infection and put me on antibiotics. He was very proactive and had me scheduled for a CT scan that afternoon. He called that evening with results and wanted Clark and I to come back to the office. I think by this point we knew what was happening. It's never a good thing when the doctor is waiting in the lobby for you. Thankfully my parents called and were on their way up for dinner.
"Characteristic of Lymphoma" is what the doctor said. He had us scheduled with a doctor in Ogden for the morning.
I had already been to the doctor so often that the kids started discussing who was to receive the next pair of "stylish" hospital slippers!
The next two weeks were crazy, busy with tests, biopsies, port placements, doctors appointments and more tests. The PET scan came back indicating that the cancer had progressed further than originally thought. At my first oncologist visit they were thinking stage 2B, however the final diagnosis was Hodgkins Lymphoma stage 3B meaning the cancer had progressed passed the diaphragm but not into another organ yet. I think that diagnosis was harder and more upsetting for me than the original. Thankfully I have a wonderfully calm, confident and optimistic Oncologist and he was able to calm me down.
Within 2 weeks we started Chemo Therapy. We were so anxious to start getting rid of this progressing cancer.
I receive a treatment every other Thursday. I am scheduled for 12 treatments, which will put me finishing up around the middle of August if all continues to go well. There are about 5 bags of medicine and about the same number of shots. It takes about 4 hours to complete.
Treatment day is actually very fun! I get to go hang out with people I love for a few hours. We eat good food, visit, play games, watch movies. It's great! Too bad it takes a cancer diagnosis to get me to spend this kind of time with family and friends!!
I usually leave feeling light headed, have a head ache and my face burns! Grateful for a ride home!
The following day I go back to Ogden to get a shot that boosts my immune system. I think this is what troubles me more than the chemo. My bones and muscles just ache for days after this shot. It's like I just ran a marathon and every muscle just hurts to even look at! I had no idea that eye lids and tongues could ache like that!
After a few days of aches my life is beautiful! I honestly can say that I feel better than I have in years! I am not tired, I sleep well, I can eat and exercise and somewhat keep up with the kids. It is incredible! These days between treatments are what help me know that what we are doing is working. I feel so hopeful and blessed.
It has been amazing to me how supportive our ward, friends, family and strangers have been. I had no idea how many people cared! It has been so good for our kids to see the many ways that people can serve. It's because of these people who come to help me clean, come to watch my kids, cook for us, carpool, etc...that I am able to take the time I need to recover between treatments. So grateful to my Heavenly Father for the goodness of His children.
Yes, I lost my hair. This is a subject that deserves more than a small blurb, but I'll just say...it was not nearly as traumatic as I thought it would be. You can cover your head with a hat or scarf, but what about those eye brows and eyelashes?! So thankful we haven't had to cross that road yet!
A BIG THANKS to the many many people supporting our family during this time. Words can not adequately express how grateful we are. A burden is truly being lifted through you. Not a day has gone by when someone has not dropped in, called or sent a note. It's amazing what a thought can do to lift someones spirits.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
I could complain, but it wouldn’t change my situation. I can be happy and be sick, or just be sick. I choose to be happy. -Tyler Smith
My name is Lisa Funk, I am 32 years old, a Child of God, a Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Granddaughter, Aunt, friend, and I have cancer.
One may ask, “Why me, or why now?” I don’t ask that question, I say, “Why not?” Everyone has challenges, this is mine. I feel so incredibly blessed. I am 32 years old and I have already accomplished so many of my life goals. I was married in the temple to a handsome, thoughtful, spiritual man who I can proudly call my best friend, cheerleader and supporter. I am the mother to 4 beautiful, healthy, energetic children. Together we have a home, and Clark works so hard that I can stay home and care for our little ones. I am a college graduate, and each day I get to practice what I learned in Psychology and Recreation. So, why me? Why now? No! WHY NOT!
Don’t get me wrong, this has not all been easy. Getting to where we are now involved months if not years of physical questions, fatigue, and more just to name a few. The diagnosis came, not as a surprise, but still involved many tears, prayers and questions.
Let me tell you a little story. About 10 years ago Clark and I had just moved to Brigham City. We had both graduated from Utah State University and were excited to start our adventure with Clark teaching at ACYI as a full time PE teacher, his dream. We moved to a small 100 year old retal house on the South End of town. Everything was going right, however I had this overwhelming fear of death. I was not sick, I had no ailments, I probably just had too much alone time. However I could not sleep at night and I could not enjoy myself during the day. I was miserable and overcome with this fear of dying young. It consumed me. Today I am faced with an illness that if not taken care of I could die, and many have. Do I have that same fear? Not one day of it. It is proof to me of the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7 where it says, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
My fear 10 years ago was completely irrational, and not of God. My fear today is completely swallowed up by the peace, power and love of God. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
While Cancer can be scary, it involves months of sickness, pain and endurance and a sometimes uncertain future, that’s not what is tragic. The greatest tragedy as Ray Pritchard said, would be “to miss what God wants to teach us through our troubles.” I pray that I and my family can learn what it is that God wants us to learn from this trial. Those lessons and blessings are already flowing in. Harold B. Lee said, “Sometimes when we are going through the most severe tests, we will be nearer to God than we have any idea.” And Richard G. Scott said, “God loves us perfectly and would not require us to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needful for our personal benefit or for that of those we love.”
I surround myself with prayers, scriptures, good quotes, family and friends and we are happy. James 5:11 Behold, we count them happy which endure.
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