A Memory in our Book

At Utah State I minored in Parks and Recreation.  If I learned one thing from that it was, "Leave No Trace".  The doctor called and the scans all revealed that my body had indeed and thankfully learned that lesson, the cancer left no trace!!

Feeling so grateful for my Heavenly Father, for granting me my one desire.  To be here longer to help my sweetheart raise these beautiful, energetic children.

Feeling so grateful to live in a day where we have so many wonderful medical advances.  Sometimes I feel like a cat with 9 lives.  So grateful to be alive today.  My sweet Michael came up to me the other day with the biggest hug, "Thanks for living Mom!"

I cannot thank my wonderful family, friends, neighbors and even strangers who have lovingly reached out to support and love our family enough.  It's been amazing.  We have felt surrounded by prayers, and that is a feeling I will truly miss.  It sustained us and gave us peace during a storm.

What do you say to someone who has cancer?  It was so amazing to have people simply ask how we were doing (not just me, but my whole family.  Cancer is a family affair).  I loved receiving simple texts saying we were being thought of or prayed for.  Nothing big, but it was BIG to us.  Thank you for teaching my family how to serve.

#8 With Mom

#9 With my Sister in Law, Lanay with Loni and Mom 

#10 with Clark, Loni and Michael

#11 with Karen Garbe

#12 My last Treatment Day we Celebrated.  My kiddos made this cute card for the staff at Utah Hematology Oncology.  They were wonderful to us.

Clark came with me

We brought Raspberry Rolls from the Old Grist Mill for the staff at Utah Hematology Oncology

And yes, Clark does look way better in my wig than I do!

What I hope my kids learned

Having cancer is not really a personal experience, it's a family affair!  I can't speak for my kids, but through this experience I do hope that they learned something.

They have watched the loving service so freely given by our family, friends, neighbors and even strangers.  I hope they remember that service that made our lives better and more freely give when they see suffering around them.

I think this experience has given them perspective, I hope that they will be brave to talk to people when they see suffering and not shy away from it.  They know how it feels when a family member is sick and they can be sensitive to feelings.

That mom is still mom even if her hair is gone.  While it was a little bit of a challenge getting used to the new appearance, they have all been so sensitive to my feelings.  When they see others with this similar challenge I hope that they can continue to be sensitive.

We can do hard things!  And we can be happy while we are doing them.  While we might not enjoy our circumstances we can still be grateful and happy.

They have learned about more household chores and skills, they are so much more capable than I gave them credit for before.

A new perspective

Every year I am so sad to send my kids off to school, especially Kindergarten and first grade.  It just is one more reminder that they are growing up so very fast.  This year, as Ike approaches his First grade year I feel like I have a new perspective.  I am just so very grateful to be alive and to be here for the next milestone in my children's lives.

My Mom asked me the other day, "Don't you just dread all that laundry?"  As I thought about it, no, I don't dread laundry or other tasks.  I am so grateful that I have days when I feel well enough to do those things for my family.  

I am so happy that I am around to potty train Millie, see Loni go to 6th grade, take Ike to first grade, to cook dinners, do laundry, listen to friend drama, wake up in the night with the kids nightmares or fevers, appointments, etc.

So grateful to be here!  This experience has taught me to slow down and enjoy the moments, to focus on today.  If you only focus on the end, you'll never find happiness in the journey.

What I loved about my cancer experience

Is that okay to write those two words in the same sentence, Love and Cancer?  While I would not have picked this experience, I would not go back and change it.  I have learned so very much through this experience that I would not change.

1.  The goodness and generosity of others.

2.  That you can find Peace amid a storm when you stay positive, grateful and close to the Lord.

3.  I can be happy in sickness.

4.  I can do hard things, my kids can do hard things!

5.  I can love who I am deeper than appearance.

6.  A bath and a nap can do wonders for health and happiness.

7.  Our Heavenly Father understands our situations and stands ready to help us.

8.  Our bodies are amazing, and it's incredible what we can endure, get used to and live through.

9.  I have grown closer to the Lord and have had many experiences where I have felt His loving presence.

10.  Loni can make dinner all by herself!

11.  I have learned to ask for help, to accept help.

12.  I have learned to be grateful for each day and small tasks that I have energy for and am capable of doing.

13.  Learned to be okay with simply doing the things that matter most, like being with my kids more than having a clean house.

14.  I appreciate the days that I feel well.

15.  Somehow the things I used to worry about seem so small and so unimportant.

16.  I believe that I am more sensitive to the suffering of others, and have a stronger desire to reach out.

I could go on and on.  While I am grateful that this experience is becoming a memory in my book, I hope that I can keep these lessons in my heart.